Sometimes what feels like a personal struggle is actually a spiritual signpost. Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the feeling of loneliness—not just the occasional kind that visits in quiet moments, but the deeper ache that seems to settle in the bones of modern life.
We live in a time of hyperconnection—constant notifications, infinite scrolls, and 24/7 access to other people’s lives. And yet, more and more of us are experiencing a sense of disconnection that feels almost existential. The kind that doesn’t just leave us longing for others, but sometimes even for ourselves.
In this moment, I’m drawn back to the wisdom of our tradition—timeless guidance that speaks to modern ailments with uncanny precision.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“إِنَّمَا يَأْكُلُ الذِّئْبُ مِنَ الْغَنَمِ الْقَاصِيَةَ.”
“The wolf only eats the sheep that strays from the flock.”
— Sunan Abi Dawood 547
(Graded hasan by al-Albani)
And in the Qur’an, Allah ﷻ commands us:
وَاعْتَصِمُوا۟ بِحَبْلِ ٱللَّهِ جَمِيعًۭا وَلَا تَفَرَّقُوا۟ ۚ
“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided.”
— Surah Aali ‘Imran (3:103)
These two texts—one from the Messenger ﷺ, the other from the Most Merciful—form a call and a counterweight. The lone sheep is vulnerable not because it is weak, but because it is alone. The rope of Allah isn’t meant to be grasped in isolation, but in unity, with others—hand over hand, heart beside heart.
This isn’t just spiritual advice. It’s survival.
The Loneliness Epidemic
Despite being more digitally connected than any generation before us, we are lonelier than ever. And the science is backing this up in increasingly alarming ways.
The U.S. Surgeon General recently declared loneliness a public health crisis, linking it to increased risks of heart disease, stroke, dementia, depression, and premature death. One meta-analysis found that loneliness increases the risk of early death as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).
Loneliness activates stress responses in the body, increasing inflammation and cortisol levels. It disrupts sleep. It affects the gut microbiome. It hijacks executive function, making it harder to think clearly or regulate emotion. This is a feedback loop—when we’re isolated, we feel worse, and when we feel worse, we tend to withdraw even more.
As someone interested in behavior science and the brain-gut connection, it’s not surprising to me that social disconnection impacts our health. Our minds and bodies are designed for belonging.
Social Media ≠ Social Connection
We scroll endlessly, mistaking likes for love and comments for companionship. But studies have shown that the more time people spend on social media, the more isolated and anxious they tend to feel. These platforms were designed to hack attention, not nourish relationships.
They trick the brain with a sense of closeness—without the oxytocin, without the resonance of eye contact, without the regulation of shared breathing or laughter. It’s connection without embodiment. And in the long run, that starves something essential in us.
The Prophetic Model of Community
The Prophet ﷺ didn’t just call people to worship. He built a jama‘ah. A community that ate together, prayed together, wept and rejoiced together. He didn’t leave people in spiritual isolation.
And this isn’t just spiritual. It’s deeply embodied. Just sitting with others, even silently, has been shown to co-regulate the nervous system. Touch, presence, and face-to-face communication all release neurotransmitters that stabilize mood and support healing.
A Gentle Return
If you’ve been feeling lonely lately—you’re not alone. If your social muscles feel atrophied, that’s okay. Start small.
Call a friend. Invite someone for tea. Join a local halaqa, a class, a walking group. Don’t wait until you “feel like it”—connection is often the very thing that creates the mood we crave.
And more than anything, reach for the rope of Allah. Because sometimes, we hold on to community through our connection to Him—and sometimes, we reach Him through our connection to others.
We are not meant to do this alone.
